Only in East Tennessee ... from the county where
drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.
Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in
Ripley, West Virginia. After last call the officer noticed a man
the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled
around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different
vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into.
He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the
bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off it was a
fine, dry summer night) -- flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple
of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He
moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then
remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron
At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking
lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer,
having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol
car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and
carried out a Breathalyzer test.
To his amazement the Breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man
having consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said,
"I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This
Breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Hillbilly.
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."