I'm so sorry Mr. Woodpants to have mistaken the father of our country for a blonde bimbo chopping at a tree. Here's the real story...
The Truth About George Washington
And That Tree
Once in a great while I come across one of those e-mail chain letters that’s worth passing on. I got one the other day that made the grade.
Here, then, strictly in the interest of making you smile this morning and with no partisanship implied, is a little something forwarded by a friend. I Know not where it originated.
"George?"
"Yes, Father."
"Did you cut down my cherry tree?"
"No, Father."
"Well, I’m very disappointed in you, George."
"Why, Father?"
"Because 12 people saw you cut down the cherry tree with your hatchet. Would you like to change your previous answer, George?"
"No, Father. I believe the answer I gave you was legally accurate. In my own mind, I was telling you the truth."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Well, you asked me if I had ‘cut’ down the tree. In my own mind, it seemed to me that ‘cutting’ is something one does with a knife or a sickle. Since I used my little hatchet, the relationship I had with the tree, while perhaps inappropriate, was not a ‘cutting’ relationship. I would call it a ‘chopping’ relationship..."
"I’ll give you another chance, George. Did you chop down my cherry tree?"
"No, Father."
"Why do you still say no?"
"Because I cannot tell a lie. And in my own mind I did not ‘chop’ down your cherry tree."
"Well what did you do then?"
"I chopped it into two pieces and one fell to the ground."
"So you chopped it down."
"No, I merely chopped it. The force of gravity caused it to fall down. Were it not for the force of gravity, over which I have absolutely no control, the tree, though segmented, would presumably still be up, not down."
"One more chance, George. Did you chop my cherry tree down?"
"No, Father."
"HOW CAN YOU SAY NO?"
"Because of my regard for the truth. What is that object at which I am pointing?"
"It’s the stump of the cherry tree."
"And isn’t the stump part of the tree, Father? In fact, isn’t it the most important part of the tree, since without a stump there would be no tree?"
"I guess so."
"Yet the stump is still standing. So when you asked me if I had chopped down the tree, my own mind said to me, ‘Tell the truth.’ And the truthful answer is no. You chopped, gravity caused part of the tree to fall, yet the most important part of the tree is still standing."
"I see."
"All I can suppose, Father, is that those 12 people whose exaggerated claims allege they saw me ‘cut down’ the entire ‘tree’ were motivated not by a search for truth but by some personal vendetta against me, perhaps because I am from Virginia."
"George, you’re a real..."
"Thank you, Father.
Al