Cold Is A Relative Thing

[Pigs On The Wing BBQ]

Cold is a Relative Thing

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in NY plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in NY sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in NY drive with the windows down..

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in NY throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in NY have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
People in NY close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in NY get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in NY are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in NY let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in NY get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

40 below zero :
ALL atomic motion stops .
People in NY start saying...'Cold enough fer ya?'

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
NY public schools will open 2 hours late

 

[007bond-jb]

I wish we had more cold weather here to kill the mosquitoes

 

[Toby Keil]

There was actual frost on my car this morning in So Cali....had to dump water on it and use the front and rear defoggers. Burrrrr

 

[Hillbilly1]

Round here ya dump water on it an it becomes an ice cube! Sure was nice taday, just bibs an a long sleeve shirt ta work outdoors! Thin it got upta 42*! Won't last long, but hey we take it!

 

[1MoreFord]

I wish we had more cold weather here to kill the mosquitoes

It don't work JB. They just evolve and grow bigger and stronger. They were alive and well in Ark over the weekend

 

[dollarbill]

I thought you meant "Their sleepin outside this winter"......

 

[bigwheel]

Well sure wished I could ditto this forzen chosin deal. I been below freezing a time or two this year. Suspect there will be bumper crop of June Bugs. Them sprout from Grub Worms or so I heard one time. That is why everybody need to own a tame duck. They eat em like popcorn. Think I am fixing to go get another and not allow any drunks to throw him /her into the cement pond. That getts em accoustomed to it ya know. Then its paddle paddle..squirt squirt. Took 3 years worth of drunks to make the duck like the pool. They broke the Rotty of liking to swim after about the second time he got throwed in. I need a higher class of pals.

bigwheel