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Old 12-25-2008, 02:45 PM   #1
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Hymn to Ham



Quote:
Originally Posted by Roy Blount, Jr.
Hymn to Ham
Though Ham was one of Noah's sons
(Like Japheth), I can't see
That Ham meant any more to him
Than ham has meant to me.

On Christmas Eve
I said, "Yes ma'am,
I do believe
I'll have more ham.

I said, "Yes ma'am,
I do believe
I'll have more ham.

I said, "Yes ma'am,
I do believe
I'll have more ham.

And then after dinner my uncle said he
Was predominantly English but part Cherokee.
"As near as I can figure," I said, "I am
An eighth Scotch-Irish and seven-eighths ham."

Ham.
My soul.
I took a big hot roll,
I put in some jam,
And butter that melted down in with the jam,
Which was blackberry jam,
And a big old folded-over oozy slice of HAM . . .
And my head swam.

Ham!
Hit 'me with a hammah,
Wham bam bam!
What good ammah
Without mah ham?

Ham's substantial, ham is fat,
Ham is firm and sound.
Ham's what God was getting at
When he made pigs so round.

Aunt Fay's as big as she can be
She weighs one hundred, she must weigh three.
But Fay says, "Ham! Oh Lord, praise be,
Ham has never hampered me!"

Next to Mama and Daddy and Gram,
We all love the family ham.

So let's program
A hymn to ham,
To appetizing, filling ham.
(I knew a girl named Willingham.)
And after that we'll all go cram
Ourselves from teeth to diaphragm
Full of ham.


I hope you all have a great holiday this year.
Chris
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Old 12-25-2008, 02:48 PM   #2
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I'd eat that........actually, I'd eat ALOT of that! Nice work, looks fantastic!
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Old 12-25-2008, 03:57 PM   #3
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Beautiful, almost could pass for dessert!
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Old 12-25-2008, 05:28 PM   #4
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That was a great Haym you had...
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Old 12-25-2008, 05:41 PM   #5
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Do look mighty tasty. Now purty sure ya know Ham was the progenitor of the africkan americkan race? Believe the Good Book said he settled in Cush aka Ethiopia. Now Ham also got a curse flung onto his kin from uncovering Noah's neekedness. Most think the deal arose from one of his chillins or grand chillins who was of the homo sapien persuasion..if you get my drift. He give old Noah some special Roofie Wine and make him pass out and did evil things. Now do know that part o the world suffer from various hardships which seem pecuiliar to that area at least on such a vast scale..such as no drinking water..no food..everybody has AID's etc. I vote we change the name of Ham to Japeth. That should work. Don't even get me started on the Shemites Doubt they would want any pork products called Shem.

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Old 12-25-2008, 07:51 PM   #6
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Oh yea. NIce ham and ham poem.
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Old 12-26-2008, 08:29 AM   #7
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Damm fine hamm
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Old 12-26-2008, 08:07 PM   #8
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I bet that was real juicy inside, looks real tasty!!
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Old 12-27-2008, 12:37 PM   #9
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A work of art Chris.
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Old 12-27-2008, 02:30 PM   #10
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Looks good enough to eat
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