Captain Morgan
Chef Extraordinaire
2 months ago I learned about a new small comp (butts only) in Conway. Sounded like fun.
Of course 2 months ago it was 75 degrees.
This week our overnight lows were in the low 20s. It was freaking warmer in New freaking York freaking City than in Myrtle Beach, the Sun Fun capitol of the world.
In a few minutes I will depart my warm home to spend the night in a thin walled EZ Up with
a windproof jacket and a cooler of beer.
If you haven't heard from me by Monday....
Larry you can have my wsms.....sell them, spend the money on a memorial service
in a hospital parking lot.
Greg....you can have a table and some empty beer cans to remember me by.
Bigwheel, you can have my NC sauce recipe so you can make some pork as good
as your kinfolks used to.
Puff, you can have my big aluminum pig.
Scotty gets the trailer, my good knives and my guru and mavericks.
Finney, you can just come and get your freaking grill off my back patio.
Rev. Marvin gets the eye patch off the aluminum pig and my secret red gravy recipe.
JB, you get my dvd collection including all my Bond movies.
Nick, you get my condo close to the beach....the mortgage payoff is probably
worth more than the condo, but you can afford it.
Pen, you get my crocs to wear in July and August, the only 2 months warm enough
for you to wear them.
Witt, you get my Performer for the boys to have.
There's more I'd like to give stuff too, but that's all I have.
However, should I survive, I expect a congratulations present from all of you,
similar in value to what I left you in the dying scenario.
Of course 2 months ago it was 75 degrees.
This week our overnight lows were in the low 20s. It was freaking warmer in New freaking York freaking City than in Myrtle Beach, the Sun Fun capitol of the world.
In a few minutes I will depart my warm home to spend the night in a thin walled EZ Up with
a windproof jacket and a cooler of beer.
If you haven't heard from me by Monday....
Larry you can have my wsms.....sell them, spend the money on a memorial service
in a hospital parking lot.
Greg....you can have a table and some empty beer cans to remember me by.
Bigwheel, you can have my NC sauce recipe so you can make some pork as good
as your kinfolks used to.
Puff, you can have my big aluminum pig.
Scotty gets the trailer, my good knives and my guru and mavericks.
Finney, you can just come and get your freaking grill off my back patio.
Rev. Marvin gets the eye patch off the aluminum pig and my secret red gravy recipe.
JB, you get my dvd collection including all my Bond movies.
Nick, you get my condo close to the beach....the mortgage payoff is probably
worth more than the condo, but you can afford it.
Pen, you get my crocs to wear in July and August, the only 2 months warm enough
for you to wear them.
Witt, you get my Performer for the boys to have.
There's more I'd like to give stuff too, but that's all I have.
However, should I survive, I expect a congratulations present from all of you,
similar in value to what I left you in the dying scenario.
