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Old 09-18-2015, 11:56 AM   #1
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You may live in Michigan ...

MICHIGAN, according to JEFF FOXWORTHY:
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Michigan. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there, you may live in Michigan. If you've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Michigan. If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Michigan. If "vacation" means going anywhere North of Grand Rapids for the weekend, you may live in Michigan. If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Michigan. If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Michigan. If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Michigan. If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Michigan. If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Michigan. If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Michigan. If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Michigan. If the speed limit on the highway is 70 mph -you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Michigan. If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Michigan. If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Michigan. If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Michigan. If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Michigan. If you actually understand these jokes, repost this so all of your Michigan friends and others can see, you definitely do live - or have lived - in Michigan
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:20 PM   #2
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Tried to edit out the repeats...


Jeff Foxworthy's view of Michigan:
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pelston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.

You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN when.............
"Vacation" means going up north on I-75.
You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
Down South to you means Ohio
A brat is something you eat.
Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
You go out to fish fry every Friday.
Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
You drink pop and bake with soda.
Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.
You know what a Yooper is.
You think owning a Honda is un-American.
You know that UP is a place not a direction
You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:59 PM   #3
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Jeff Foxdingleberry's stand up routine and acting ability is about as fascinating as a chap lip.......
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Old 09-18-2015, 02:11 PM   #4
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Does the chapped lip have loose pieces of skin that you can screw with using your tongue and other lip, or is it smooth?


Smooth is uninteresting. Rough and peeling gives you something to do...
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Old 09-18-2015, 02:17 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Its not burned View Post
Does the chapped lip have loose pieces of skin that you can screw with using your tongue and other lip, or is it smooth?


Smooth is uninteresting. Rough and peeling gives you something to do...
lose piece of skin you tear off with your teeth to make bleed


rubbing it with turpentine.....optional
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Old 09-18-2015, 02:23 PM   #6
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See? How can you find that uninteresting?
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