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Old 11-21-2006, 08:47 PM   #1
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Diva Q's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Barrie, Ontario
Posts: 3,379
The new alphabet

The New Alphabet
>A is for Apple, and B is for Boat, That used to be right, But now it won't
>float! Age before Beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more
>realistic instead.
>Now A's for arthritis;
>B's the bad back,
>C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
>D is for dental decay and decline,
>E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
>F is for fissures and fluid retention,
>G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
>H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
>I for incisions with scars you can show.
>J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
>K is for knees that crack when they bend.
>L for libido, what happened to sex?
>M is for memory, I forget what comes next!
>N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
>O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
>P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, Just give me a pill and I'll be
>good as new!
>Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
>R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
>S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
>T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
>U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
>V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
>W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
>X is for X ray, and what might be found.
>Y is another year I'm left here behind,
>Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.
>I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I'm keeping six
>doctors fully employed!!!

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