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Old 09-13-2007, 12:56 PM   #1
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The Man Rules

The Man Rules:
¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*¬*
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry;
we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong..
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as
baseball,golf, football or cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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Old 09-13-2007, 01:01 PM   #2
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1. Men don't have to explain the use of Bacon.

lol
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Old 09-13-2007, 01:24 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Hedrick
1. Men don't have to explain the use of Bacon.

lol
Along with lardo, scraple, beef tallo and poached eggs in leaf lard.
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:46 PM   #4
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This guy read my mind......Thanks for sharing Pigs. It's good to know I am not alone on this one.
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:55 PM   #5
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I can think of a few hundred other "rules" I'd like to add to that list.

...but can't say em in this sextion.
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:56 PM   #6
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I may have to post this in my house.

OR maybe I will just stick a pencil in my eye and pretend I did.

Also Jeans do not make your butt look fat. Your butt makes your butt look fat.
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Old 09-13-2007, 04:44 PM   #7
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I've seen this list (or a similar one) before, and they are SO true.

I like to add this rule of my own:
1. Just because a thought enters your head, that does not mean it needs to exit your mouth.
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