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Old 06-24-2005, 10:06 AM   #1
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Darwin Award Winners 2005

----- Darwin Award Winners!!! 2005

>

>

> Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin

>Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then,

>are the glorious winners.

>

>

> Darwin Award Winner: When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire

>at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California,

>would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire

>wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

>

>

> And now, the honorable mentions:

>

>

> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat

>cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim

>to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence, sent out

>one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.

> The chef's claim was approved.

>

>

> 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his

>car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a

>woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

>

>

> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus

>driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be

>transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit

>his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered

>everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to

>the

>

> mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very

>excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't

>discovered for 3 days.

>

>

> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from

>serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he

>received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to

>see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

>

>

> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

>counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,

>the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which

>the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and

>fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he

>

> got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and

>gives you money, is a crime committed?)

>

>

> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He

>decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store

>window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and

>heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and

>hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The

>liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

>

>

> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a

>man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and

>the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

>Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in

>the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of

>the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,

>"Yes,

>

> officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

>

>

> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked

>into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun,

>and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he

>couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man

>ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for

>breakfast . The man, frustrated, walked away.

>

>

> A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

>

>

> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home

>parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.

>Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a

>motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man

>admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into

>the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle

>declined to press

>

> charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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Old 06-24-2005, 03:42 PM   #2
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Excellent stuff. Why do I feel like I'm gonna read about Larry in these some year?
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Old 06-24-2005, 03:55 PM   #3
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Oops, BSometer was going off, I should have checked before I posted. Not sure but what I posted seems likely untrue.



Edit: what I posted features at least a couple of of stories from the website ... so who knows, have fun but don't take it too seriously
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Old 06-24-2005, 04:11 PM   #4
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To make ammends, there is a lot a funny stuff at the seemingly authentic DarwinArwards.com official site

Check out the pics, Why Women Live Longer!

Shawn
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Old 06-26-2005, 06:48 AM   #5
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I know it is crazy, but that dude on the backhoe has talent. funny stuff.

I knew a dude "he worked for me about a week or two" that used to climb a light pole and turn his power on after the power company turned it off. Drunken fool was killed why his little boy watched him fall. True story.
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