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Old 09-10-2008, 07:51 AM   #1
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Aging

My wife sees humor in this....I don't

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever You are hot and sweaty.. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit: shorts with the hole in crotch, old t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age, you might do the following:



In your 20s : Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know -- you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.



In your 30s: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick, so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.



In your 40s: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut is almost empty, so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age, and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.



In your 50s: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror, and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming, and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'



In your 60s: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out of the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you are not sure.



In your 70s: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.



In your 80s : Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart.. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:19 AM   #2
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HOLY CRAP!!...

I am 38 and I have been guilty of being in both the 50's and 60's catagories

this can't be right!
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:24 AM   #3
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Yeah Ron, but you're in your 90's.
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Old 09-10-2008, 08:39 AM   #4
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I was going to Wal Mart today but I just decided to cancel.
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Old 09-10-2008, 09:28 AM   #5
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When you are in your 90's you go to WM 'porky pig style".
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Old 09-10-2008, 12:30 PM   #6
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Had an old yankee chum from Illinois who always say..."A person goes out of this world like they came in...with an ugly face and a dirty butt." Always made sense to me. He was also the one who say..."Boy chillins is much easier to raise than girl chillins cuz with boys you only got one pecker to worry about." Them yankees can be purty astute sometimes huh?

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Old 09-10-2008, 05:14 PM   #7
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The loud fart hearing your name called thing rings a bell.
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Old 09-10-2008, 05:25 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigwheel
Had an old yankee chum from Illinois who always say..."A person goes out of this world like they came in...with an ugly face and a dirty butt." Always made sense to me. He was also the one who say..."Boy chillins is much easier to raise than girl chillins cuz with boys you only got one pecker to worry about." Them yankees can be purty astute sometimes huh?

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Old 09-10-2008, 07:17 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Puff
The loud fart hearing your name called thing rings a bell.


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Old 09-10-2008, 07:40 PM   #10
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Too bad, I must still be in my 30's!
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